Scene 1: Acting The Part

 

fullsizerender

Just another Sunday afternoon, sitting at a bakery sipping on my grapefruit ade and my oh so yummy pastry (carbs are going to be the death of me). I sit here eating my bread and notice that I am l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y trying so hard to eat “pretty.” I can’t help but to think what the person across from me is going to think of me if I eat “un-lady” like. Gawd I really hate how I think so much about how people think of me, why do I do this? Why should I care so much about how that person sitting across from me thinks? If that person thinks good of me, is that going to change anything about my life?

The obvious answer, no. I realize that a lot of people think so much about what others are going to think of them, but why? Why am I allowing another person, a stranger, judge my life? Why should someone’s opinion about my life affect me? Well, it shouldn’t and it sure as hell does not mean a single thing. Now, I say this but I’ll most likely find myself doing it again, but me writing about this feeling is my attempt of trying to overcome my insecurities. We shouldn’t allow someone to judge how we live or how we look. Unfortunately, we can’t change the way someone thinks, but we most definitely can control how it affects us.

You are your own enemy. People will think whatever they want about you and sometimes they might not always have something good to say. But let’s not let those negative thoughts become our own thoughts. You are the lead of your own life, don’t let the extras take your role.

Advertisements

Ready, Set, Go.

Challenge Accepted

“How do I start this? What do I talk about? No one’s going to read this…”

As an insecure and VERY self-conscious individual, I never had the nerve to break out of my comfort zone. I always think and think and really..OVER think almost everything which eventually hinders me from doing, well almost nothing. After years and months of thinking, trying, and giving up, I have finally accepted the challenge of starting a blog. Through this process I want to be able to find myself. As cliché as that sounds, I really don’t know who I am as a person. I want to be able to figure out who I am and overcome all of my insecurities. Now, this is a lot easier said than done I know, but hey it’s worth a try right? Not only do I want to figure out who I am, but I want those who read my blog to be able to figure out who they are as well. If I can inspire or make someone’s day just by .000001% I will say that I succeeded. That is truly all I want to do with my blog: Become happier by making others happy.

I graduated with a major in sociology and a minor in psychology. I really wanted to go further and possibly become a licensed family/life advisor, but life happened and now I am working an office job. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for what I am doing now and grateful that I am where I am today. But sometimes I ask myself if this is all there is to life? I feel like there is more and I just haven’t discovered it yet. I want to be able to explore my possibilities and hold on to every opportunity I encounter. At the age of twenty-four, I don’t want this to be it. Waking up at 4:30a.m. every day, going to work to sit in front of the computer for 8 hours and going home to simply do nothing, is definitely not the ideal life I had in mind. People tell me that this is how life is supposed to be, that everyone lives the same way. But I want to think differently, I want to stop making excuses and break free from the norm. I realized that I have become so accustomed to this routine that I just accepted how it is and without even knowing my life has become so routine bases and scheduled. I love routines and being organized, don’t get me wrong, but seeing how my WHOLE life has become so scheduled makes me re-evaluate everything. If everything is organized and becomes a routine, where is the fun in that?

Older people always tell me to enjoy my twenties or to take advantage of my “youth” but quite frankly I never listened. Why? Because I thought there was no time to “enjoy” life right now, to me right now is such an important part of my life which determines whether ill make it or break it in the future. But I realized their meaning to “enjoy” is not to go out every night and get so drunk I black out, or to travel every day with the little money I have saved up. The enjoyment they are talking about is that we are at an age where it is okay to experiment and to mess up and to learn. I honestly think age shouldn’t stop you from trying something new. Whether you are in your late 50’s or early twenties, nothing should stop you from doing you.

So as a challenge to myself, I want to break my comfort bubble and get a taste of the world. I want to try the things that I always wanted to do but never did because of being too “busy”. I want to test my limits and really figure out what I am capable of doing. I’m not saying I am going to go cliff diving and go sky diving tomorrow (I’ll die of a heart attack if I tried), but I want to stop limiting myself and break this cycle of thinking “this is how it’s supposed to be.” So, what do you say? Are you ready to challenge yourself?